I felt the same sense of dread I felt every morning.
I was standing there, in my closet. Looking at my clothes and feeling… meh.
Why? I didn’t know how to dress myself. Sure, I had clothes. But this sense of dread wasn’t about clothes.
My problem: I didn’t know how to put together an outfit that made me feel powerful.
It had been the same for about two years. I was fine in the winter, when jeans, a sweater, and some boots could pretty much suffice on any day.
But it was bad in the summer.
You know that old adage from corporate, “dress for the job you want”? Well the job I wanted was clearly camp counselor, not Badass Sales Coach for Women Entrepreneurs.
I tried shopping. But every time I went to a store, I remembered: I hate shopping.
I had been a chunky kid. In my middle school years, I remember my mother asking the saleswoman, “Do you mind getting this in a bigger size?”
And I remember storming out of dressing rooms when even the bigger size didn’t fit.
So as a teen and then an adult, I avoided shopping, and I assumed that nothing would fit me.
As a result, here I was, in my mid-30’s, long past those chunky days and now a successful business owner… and I was totally inept at something that I felt like most women master in their teens.
I thought to myself, “Shouldn’t this be easier?? Didn’t everyone figure out their personal style in, I don’t know, 10th grade?” I felt embarrassment, and imposter syndrome, and shame rolled into one.
So, for the last few years, I tried to fix the problem on my own, doing what I thought would work. I put together a Pinterest board. I kept trying to shop.
But the Pinterest board gathered digital dust. Shopping trips were a bust. Clothes bought online were sent back.
One day, with the help of my wife, I woke up. I realized that what I was doing wasn’t working. And I realized that doing more of it wasn’t going to work either.
I decided to ask for help. Enter stylist Rosana Vollmerhausen.
Over three sessions, Rosana and her team listened, sorted, assessed, and recommended. We shopped, and tried on, and took pictures, and tried on some more.
Now, I have a whole wardrobe of clothes that make me look good. And the craziest part? I had a lot of the right pieces already. I just needed someone to show me the right way to use them.
Now, I feel powerful. I feel like I can tackle anything. Whatever my day, or my business, or my life throws at me, I can handle it.
And I see myself differently. I no longer feel like an amateur, I feel like a total badass. And that comes through in everything I do, every day.
And I feel calm. Instead of dread every morning, I’m excited. I can’t believe I put myself through that negativity for so long. Imagine how my days would have been different all these years if the first emotion I felt was optimism, rather than dread?
This problem, the “dressing myself” problem, is something I had struggled with for years.
And it was fixed in weeks. I only wish I had done it sooner.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve thought about this story as I’ve talked to women entrepreneurs who tell me that they’re going to spend some more time trying to get new clients on their own.
They don’t have any sales pipeline to speak of.
They’ve had promising conversations, but nothing’s really panning out.
Their prospects aren’t getting back to them and they’re not sure why.
They aren’t making the money they want to make and they don’t have a clear path to get there.
And because of this, they don’t feel like the powerful entrepreneurs that they want to be.
But in spite of this, they want to keep trying the same way. They hope that what hasn’t been working for years, will suddenly start working.
And I want to put my hands on their shoulders, and with all my love, tell them the truth:
If what you’re doing hasn’t been working, then doing more of it won’t work either.
I’m not saying this because I’m a sales coach. In fact, this isn’t about me, or my coaching program.
This is about three things:
1) The openness to look at how things are really going
2) The willingness to ask yourself if it’s really working
3) The decisiveness to say that next year is going to be different than this past year
I’ve said it a hundred times: you don’t have to work with me to learn how to land new consulting clients.
I’d rather you work with anyone, than have you spend another week, month, or year doing things that don’t work.
And if you do want to work with me to learn how to land higher-value consulting clients, charge and get paid more for your work, and feel totally comfortable selling, check out my 10-week SIGNED program.
The next class starts on Wednesday, December 5th. Applications are open now until Friday, November 30th. Spots are limited, so apply today.
But back to those three steps, and my wish for you this year: Don’t spend another year doing the same things you were before. If something isn’t working, fix it.
See step 3 above – that’s the most important one. 🙂
To your success,