It was 2014, and I had just seen the now-famous Pantene commercial.
You might have seen it too: it shows women apologizing when they don’t need to, like on a crowded subway. (If you haven’t seen it, stop and watch it right now).
When it ended, I had goosebumps. I had to watch it again. I probably watched it 4 times.
Then I asked myself: how many times had I said “I’m sorry,” completely unnecessarily?
I started listening to myself.
What I heard shocked me. I was saying “sorry” all over the place.
Apparently I was sorry for everything.
Sorry I got to the door at the same time as someone else. Sorry that someone bumped me on the Metro.
“Sorry, I was just going to say….”
Was I really sorry? What was I actually apologizing for? Was I simply going along with the social conditioning that teaches women not to take up their own space?
I wasn’t sure, but I knew it was worth exploring.
But there was something else I realized. It was affecting how I felt about myself, and more importantly…
It was affecting how I approached new clients.
One reason why selling had always felt so uncomfortable was because I felt powerless. I hear this from nearly every entrepreneur I talk to: that feeling of powerlessness when it comes to selling.
All the power rested with my clients – they could say yes or no, they controlled the timeline, they controlled the money. And even though I knew I could do great work, I always felt like I was begging for the business.
If I was going to learn how to sell to new clients, and really learn how to do it comfortably, I needed to change that dynamic.
I needed to approach my clients as a peer.
I knew what I had to do for myself and for my business.
My New Year’s Resolution 2015: Stop saying “sorry”.
This became my goal. Of course, if I did something that warranted an apology, I would say it. (Sorry, guy whose foot I stepped on.)
But all the other “sorries” were out. When I got to a door at the same time as someone else? When someone had to wait for me to finish making my coffee before they could use the milk? “Sorry, I just wanted to say….” All gone.
It took me 4 weeks to kick my “sorry” habit, and I haven’t looked back.
I started feeling totally different.
I quickly felt an incredible shift in myself. I felt empowered. I felt more confident than I ever had before. I confidently took up my own space. (I still do.)
I’ve also seen a huge change in my business.
Almost immediately, I no longer felt beneath anyone. When I talked to potential clients, I no longer felt powerless. I felt confident talking to anyone. I no longer felt like I was begging for the business.
And I started seeing results. I started leading the sales process, rather than waiting for clients to move forward. That year, I had a 100% win rate for new clients.
This is the most important New Year’s Resolution you can do for business.
If you want 2018 to be the year you bring on the clients you want, get paid what you’re worth, and make the money you want to make, ending the unnecessary “sorries” should be your first step.
I can teach you how to grow your revenue, but first you have to believe you deserve it.
The 4 steps to kicking the “sorry” habit.
If you’re interested in stopping the “sorry” habit and seeing results in your business, here are the 4 steps to do it.
Step 1: Listen to yourself. Hear yourself say “sorry”. Draw a check every time you say it, and tally up the checks at the end of a week.
Step 2: Ask yourself this question. When you hear yourself apologize, ask yourself, “What was I saying sorry for?” The answers may surprise you. “Did I really apologize for coming out of the bathroom at the same time as someone else was coming in?” It helps if you say it in a sarcastic voice.
Step 3: Replace it. Instead of “sorry”, try these instead. For physical proximity, like on a crowded subway, try “Excuse me”. When you’re expressing empathy, like if your friend misses her train, try “Ugh, bummer!” or “Ugh, that’s the worst.” When you’re trying to get past someone, try “Pardon me.”
Step 4: Practice silence. Most “sorries” don’t need any words at all; we simply say them because we feel we need to say something. Practice saying nothing at all, or perhaps give a little smile. You’ll be amazed how empowering it feels.
Now it’s in your court. Are you ready to take the Not Sorry Challenge? I’ve created a free guide to help you kick the habit in 4 weeks. Write back and let me know you’re in, and then click here to get your copy!
To your strong, empowered, and definitely not sorry success,
P.S. When you’re ready, here are 2 ways you can work with me:
- Grab your free guide: 4 Weeks To Kicking The “Sorry” Habit. You’ll follow the exact plan I followed to stop saying “sorry” in 4 weeks.
- Sign up for SIGNED. In SIGNED, you’ll learn how to master the sales process, sign the clients you want, and get paid bigger numbers. Head to the SIGNED page and sign up today!