Leah Neaderthal

Well, that was a different Thanksgiving, wasn’t it? For many of us, it wasn’t the pause from life that we usually get.

But this year, I think a lot of us are finding different ways to pause and take a break from life. (My current methods of choice: hitting the Peloton hard, and going on extra-long walks with my dog.)

If you want to create some space for yourself by tuning out and listening to a podcast, I wanted to share three of mine from this past year. Feel free to choose one, take a long walk, and enjoy.

(Links will open in Apple Podcasts)

How to Get (and Keep) Clients in Uncertain Times featuring Leah Neaderthal, on the Copyblogger Podcast
In this interview, I’m chatting with Copyblogger CEO Darrell Vesterfelt about how to mentally and practically approach your business in weird times, and why you might not need to “pivot”.
33 minutes
Click to listen

Mastering Sales As A Consultant with Leah Neaderthal, on the Seven-Figure Consultant Podcast
In this interview, I’m talking with business growth coach Jessica Fearnley about how to feel more in control of your sales process, and how to stop feeling like you need to saying “yes” to every potential client who comes your way.
31 minutes
Click to listen

3 Million Dollar Sales Strategies with Leah Neaderthal, on The Why and The Buy podcast
In this podcast I’m chatting with sales legends Jeff Bajorek and Christie Walters about how selling as an entrepreneur is actually quite different than selling as a salesperson, and the three sales strategies entrepreneurs can start using today.
40 minutes
Click to listen

After you’ve listened to one, write back to let me know which one you picked, and one thing you learned from it!

Enjoy!

Leah

Imagine you’re given a piece of paper with a maze on it. In one corner, there’s a picture of a cartoon mouse. Your goal is to get the mouse from one end of the maze to the other.

Go with me on this… this is a real research study that was actually conducted.

In one version of the maze, there’s a cartoon owl at the top of the page, hunting the mouse. In another version, there’s a block of cheese awaiting the mouse at the end.

You and the other participants are each given only one version of the maze to complete.

So which group completed the maze faster? The ones who were moving the mouse towards the cheese? Or the ones who were escaping the owl?

The group with the cheese.

The participants who moved the mouse towards the cheese had a higher percentage finishing the maze, and when they did finish it, they did it faster than the owl group.

Even though neither the mouse, owl, or cheese were real, participants were more successful when their imaginations thought they were going towards a reward than when they were fleeing a threat.

As Dr. Emily Nagoski offers in her book, Burnout, “It makes perfect sense when you think about it. If you’re moving toward a specific, desired goal, your attention and efforts are focused on that single outcome. But if you’re removing away from a threat, it hardly matters where you end up, as long as it’s somewhere safe from the threat.”

Here’s one way I see this.

[big sigh]

It’s been a shitty year.

Now that the holidays are approaching, our thoughts naturally turn to the start of a new year. And I know we’re all hoping that next year is better than this one.

Of course, the assumption being that as we flip that metaphorical page of the calendar and start a new page, things in our lives will naturally get better.

But here’s the thing. We can’t make 2021 better if we’re only trying to get away from the dumpster fire that was 2020. We can’t make 2021 a better year if we’re only running from the owl.

We make 2021 a better year when we run towards the cheese.

So my question to you is: what’s your cheese?

Maybe it’s beating this year’s revenue number because this was a weird year for your business.

Maybe it’s being able to finally get with the clients who value your work and can pay you more because, if this year has proven anything, it’s that life’s too short to work with crap clients.

Maybe it’s finally starting your consulting business so you can stop working remotely in a job you hate, and start having more flexibility.

Maybe it’s finally being able to put yourself out there to get new clients because networking and the chance referral don’t work in this environment.

Name your cheese, and then put it in the forefront of your mind. Put it on a Post-It. Or simply close your eyes and visualize it every morning.

If you’d like, write back to this email and let me know what your cheese is.

Whatever it is, you can get there. But you won’t get there by running away from the owl. You’ll get there by running towards the cheese.

To your success,

Leah

The gray hair saga continues. And it’s taken an unexpected turn.

A couple of weeks ago I told you how, in one of the weirder events of 2020, I’m now blonde.

(If you missed it, check the blog post titled, “Just when you thought 2020 couldn’t surprise you…”.)

I told you how, after a medical scare, I decided to stop coloring my hair and go all gray. And how I was working with my colorist to go from brown to gray in one fell swoop.

As part of this process, the first of two color appointments left me… blonde.

I also confided how terrified I was that going gray would kill my business. What would my clients think? What would you think?

And I want to tell you, the responses I got were incredible. This community of women running consulting and coaching businesses… you all are so supportive and encouraging.

At the end of that email, I promised to keep you posted on the progress.

And wow, things have… progressed.

—

The second appointment was last Friday. That day’s plan was simple: my colorist would take me one shade lighter to get to silver, then she would hand-paint lowlights to create darker gray to mimic my hair’s natural color.

I would walk out sporting a gorgeous salt and pepper look and begin my life as Woman With Gray Hair.

And I just have to talk about my colorist here. She’s amazing.

She does color for editorial and runway. She goes on world tours as the colorist for singers whose names you would recognize. She’s a Redken color educator, and before coronavirus, she traveled around the country teaching other colorists how to color expertly.

All this is to say: she knows her shit.

—

The first step went off without a hitch. Things were looking good. We got as light as I could go.

Then my colorist carefully hand-painted my hair a darker gray, painstakingly matching my natural salt and pepper.

Halfway through the processing, she lifted one of the foils to check it. She was silent. That’s when I knew something was off, and she rushed me over to the sink to rinse out all the color.

When we had rinsed everything completely, she told me what happened. As a result of the processing, my hair wasn’t able to pick up the gray.

It did, however, pick up one of the pigments in that color.

Purple.

Those lowlights that were supposed to be salt and pepper? They were now lavender.

I did what any color client would do. I laughed. Because really, what could I do?

Thank God I live in Brooklyn, where silvery lavender hair isn’t anything abnormal.

—

So what now? Well, I can’t start my life as Woman With Gray Hair just yet.

I’m taking a few weeks to rehab my hair so we can try the lowlights again.

The saga continues. And of course, I’ll keep you posted.

But in the meantime, it’s been interesting to observe my reactions to all of this.

Because I’m someone who’s not just Type A… I’m Type A+. I plan, I execute, I stress out, I have anxiety, I muscle things through and I assume that my intellect can get me through any situation.

So for me, this has been an exercise in letting go. Letting up. Because really, there’s nothing I can do, so I might as well enjoy it.

And I am. I’m surprised at how much I’m not stressing out about this. And I have to say, I like being silvery blonde (or at least, slightly lavender for the moment). I feel renewed, more open, more free.

It’s a nice change. You see, I’ve always done the right thing. What was expected of me: A’s in school, going to college, getting a great job in corporate America, and then getting the next great job, and on and on. I’ve never gotten a tattoo, and my version of teenage rebellion (piercing my bellybutton) lasted about one day.

But now here I am, I’m 40, and I have silvery lavender hair that I can’t do anything about. It feels good to let up a little.

What about you? Is there room in your world to let up a little? Is there room to shake things up just a bit? To not put all the pressure on yourself?

Over the next week or so, try choosing one thing to let up on (it doesn’t have to be dyeing your hair silver). And if you want, write back and let me know how it feels.

And of course, stay tuned for the next (and maybe final?) chapter in this gray hair journey.

To your success,

Leah

The night Obama won his first election, I was there with Barack, Michelle, Sasha, Malia, and 240,000 other Chicagoans.

It was one of the best nights of my life.

I had been watching the results at home on the North side of Chicago. As soon as CNN called one of the battleground states — I think Pennsylvania? — and it looked like it was in the bag, my friends and I dropped everything and rushed down to Millennium Park.

When we got there, the feeling in the crowd was incredible. The air was electric. Everyone was ecstatic, upbeat, and proud. When he made his speech, people cried and strangers hugged each other.

What I remember from that night was the optimism we felt. Everything felt light. We felt like we were at the precipice of something totally new and exciting.

This was our guy. These were our people. As a young person (in political terms), this was our moment.

When the speech was over and we all spilled out onto Michigan Avenue, people were swinging on lampposts. Running and skipping. Cartwheels and champagne. Still more strangers hugging. It was magic.

I think we walked all the way back home, a distance we never would have walked on a normal day, but we didn’t mind because we were practically walking on air.

That night we went to sleep smiling.

—

This week, on election night, I made french toast. Not for dinner, but afterward. I just stress-cooked a big batch of french toast to put in the freezer.

I’ve started making batches of breakfast for my son so we can quickly grab one in the mornings.

One week it’s a batch of silver dollar pancakes. The next it’s a batch of french toast. Because when a 14-month old is hungry, he’s hungry.

My wife was sitting on the couch, nervously watching the result on her phone, switching between CNN and the New York Times. But I couldn’t bear to watch the results come in.

I was too scared.

I thought back to the last election.

I was living in DC. My wife and I spent the evening at the Democratic National Committee headquarters, texting voters on the West Coast to get out the vote.

The mood was upbeat. Nancy Pelosi came by to cheer us on.

Around 8 pm, we went home, feeling like we had done what we could.

We went to sleep optimistic. We woke up stunned. I couldn’t do that to myself again.

So this time I made french toast.

I can’t control much right now, but I can make sure my son has a good breakfast each morning, made with love.

I can control this.

—

Today I feel something different. I’m somewhere in between.

I feel relief. And I’m starting to feel proud again.

This election wasn’t the reckoning we were hoping for. In the back of our minds, I think most of us knew it wouldn’t be. The rifts in our country are much deeper than an election could paper over.

But we are going to have the first woman Vice President. The first Black Vice President, and the first South Asian-American Vice President.

The first stepmom, and the first blended family in the White House.

(And a little touch of pride at the first Jewish husband of the Vice President.)

I still think that this country is the best place for a woman to start, run, and grow a business.

And I’m still committed to helping every single woman grow her consulting and coaching businesses, and get paid more for every single client engagement.

Because money is power.

So tonight I’ll sleep easier. But it’s not just about rest, it’s about resting up. Because we still have a lot of work to do.

To your success,

Leah

So here’s a thing I never thought I’d say: I’m blonde.

At least, for the next week or so.

Here’s how it happened.

Flashback to August. I was finally, finally on my way to see my stylist, for the first time in over six months. I couldn’t wait for her to cut my hair properly, and I wanted to ask her why my hair felt thin and especially coarse.

But when I was settled in the chair, she said something that surprised me.

“Whatever’s going on here,” she said, as she picked through my thinning hair, “it’s starting in your scalp. You need to see a dermatologist.”

Huh.

I mean, all women have postpartum hair loss, right? And sure, mine had gone on for what felt like an especially long time, but it’s normal, right?

“Of course,” my stylist reassured me. “It could be a lot of things, like a vitamin deficiency. Or your thyroid. Go see a dermatologist.”

So I did.

And the dermatologist apparently did not go to the same medical school as my stylist, because she didn’t think it was my thyroid or a vitamin deficiency AT ALL.

She thought it was a condition called lichen planopolaris — but she stressed that she wasn’t completely sure, and she sent me to get a second opinion with a specialist at Columbia.

Now, if you, like me, have never heard of lichen planopolaris, let me tell you about it. Your hair falls out, and then your follicles scar over, so the hair doesn’t grow back.

Translation: YOUR HAIR LOSS IS PERMANENT.

Oh, and also? Want to know what makes it worse? Coloring your hair, something I’d been doing since I started going gray in my late 20s.

Which, HI, that was not what I wanted or expected to hear.

I freaked out.

I mean, my hair is a huge part of my identity. I joked to my team that I can’t lose my hair, it’s basically my entire personality. People comment on my hair on the street.

And now, not only was I going bald, but I had to go gray in the meantime.

When I say I freaked out, I mean, I freaked. The F. Out. You’ll notice that even though this whole thing started in August, this is the first you’re hearing about it — I was too embarrassed to talk about it.

I was terrified. Would my wife still love me if I went gray? Would it weird her out to stand next to someone who looked so much older than she does? (Yes, obviously, and no, it wouldn’t, because Emily is AWESOME.)

I texted a close friend who’s a personal branding specialist, and I asked her: WILL MY BRAND SURVIVE THIS?

She replied: OMG your brand will not die a quick death. You will be OK if you can just be yourself.

I wanted to believe her, but it was hard.

I’m not blind to how women are seen. We’re not allowed to age. I’m 40, but with my well-tended roots that hid my gray, I assumed my clients like me because I’m young and fresh! Wouldn’t they think I’m too old to be taken seriously?

These are all questions and thoughts that I voiced aloud, many times, to the people around me. I was what the kids call a hot mess.

But after a few weeks of sitting with this information, I made the decision recommended by my dermatologist, and the decision I knew was right: to go gray. Publicly. Out loud.

Cut to October, when I saw the dermatologist who’s a hair loss specialist, for a second opinion.

Four seconds after she entered the room, she took one look and said the magic words:

You don’t have lichen planopolaris.

But before I could burst into tears of relief, she said, “You have telogen effluvium.”

She went on to explain that telogen effluvium is a hair shedding event in response to a stress event, like giving birth. Postpartum hair loss is a type of telogen effluvium.

But my postpartum hair loss ran right into this global pandemic you might have heard of, in which my wife and I fled our home in hotspot Brooklyn, and my stress level was THROUGH THE ROOF. So I was lucky enough to have a SECOND stress event ON TOP OF the first one, and my body basically went into STRESS REACTION OVERDRIVE.

(I’m not alone – people are experiencing pandemic-related telogen effluvium in DROVES. The specialist said before the pandemic, she used to get 2-3 cases like this a week. Now she sees 14-15 per day.)

Anyway, the important takeaways from this visit were:
My hair will grow back.
I could keep coloring it if I wanted to.

Except that… I’d already decided to go gray. Not only that, I’d come to terms with it.

Which leads us back to the beginning of this, where I’m BACK in the chair at the stylist for the first of two appointments which will take me from brown to gray.

She strips all the color from my hair, a process which takes — I shit you not — TWELVE HOURS.

And at the end of it, we try putting a silver rinse to hold me until the next visit, but it doesn’t take, so I walk out…

blonde.

Until my hair recovers enough for the next visit, in which we’ll add the gray.

And with my new color comes a new perspective.

A SIGNED student asked me a few days ago, “If I share my views on Black Lives Matter, will I still have clients?”

I rephrased her question back to her: “Are you worried about losing the ability to land racist clients?”

Another student worried that by moving to an island and working remotely, she wouldn’t be taken seriously.

I asked her, “Do you really want clients who aren’t on board with anything but in-person work?”

Yes, both of these women will encounter people who don’t want to work with them.

But those people are not your clients.

Clients hire you for who you are. They’re on board with your rules, your beliefs, your location, your hair.

For years, you played by the rules in corporate. Now, you’re the boss, and you make the rules.

Everything we do in Pack Your Pipeline and SIGNED is about bringing your style and your way to your business.

And the moment you know how to get clients, you will never fear being yourself again.

—

In another week or so, I’ll go from blonde to gray. And I’ll let you know when I do.

Because, as Bernardine Evaristo writes in “Girl, Woman, Other,”:

“Ageing is nothing to be ashamed of. Especially when the entire human race is in it together”

To your success,

Leah

Really quick: tomorrow is the last day to apply for SIGNED, my program to learn how to land higher-paying consulting and coaching clients, step by step. If you’d like to work with me to learn how to sell confidently, and get help with the clients you’re already talking to, apply today for SIGNED which starts on October 28th. There’s no commitment to apply. Spots are limited, so don’t wait. See results from recent students and apply now!

So many of us are feeling just… over it. But for one woman, that’s turned into a hugely profitable shift in her consulting business.

I had an amazing call this past week with a prospective student for SIGNED, and I felt like our conversation completely encapsulated what so many of us are feeling at the moment.

“2020 fatigue.” We just don’t have the energy.

We used to be able to run errands, come back home, knock out some more work, take care of the family and still have some extra energy to burn.

Now we just don’t have it in us.

Our mental capacity is full and the last thing we want to do — the last thing we can do — is take on more.

She proceeded to tell me how, at the beginning of March, her clients started to lose funding, and by April, she had lost all of them. Every single client, gone.

At first, she panicked. But after some time, she realized: Even if they all came back, she wouldn’t want any of them. Not one of them.

With the headspace she had — the first actual clear headspace she had had in a long time — she saw clearly that these clients she had been working with…

Didn’t value her work.
Didn’t truly want to solve their problems.
Weren’t paying her enough.

She had been on a hamster wheel in her business, working too hard, for the wrong clients, for not enough money. She wasn’t going to get back into the same situation again.

She told me, “I don’t have the energy to chase small fish anymore.”

Maybe you were exactly the same before the pandemic. Burning the candle on both ends, giving all your best to each and every client, no matter what their size was or budget, or list of demands.

You were so busy trying to make everything work, you didn’t have time to focus on doing anything different.

But things are different now. And so are you.

Because let’s face it, you don’t have the time or energy now, and it’s too f’ing exhausting to take on clients that just don’t see the value you’re bringing.

So instead, let’s use this time to cut out the junk and get rid of the clutter. Clarify your message, find the clients who value what you do, and get paid more than you ever imagined.

I want you to take a moment today, close your eyes and breathe. Find your happy place 🙂 Imagine there was no COVID or election, or uncertainty in the world.

What would you want to be doing?
Who would you want to be working with?
How much would they be paying you?

That’s our to-do list. Yours and mine together. The woman who’s done chasing small fish, she’s working with me in this round of SIGNED to learn how to do exactly that.

Let’s work on your goals too.

I’m super excited about this next session of SIGNED which starts this Wednesday, the 28th. We’ve already gotten some amazing women on board who are ready to learn how to get paid what they’re worth.

Tomorrow is the last day to apply and I would love to talk to you about where you’re at and see if there is a fit. Apply and let’s see if SIGNED is right for you.

To your success,
Leah