My contact loves me but her boss has to approve it

Direct Answer

Your contact is about to present your work in a meeting you will not attend, so your job is to make her case easy to carry. Give her the problem in her own words, the outcome in one line, the number, and the smallest next step. Then ask to be in the room.

Leah Neaderthal

Leah Neaderthal

Founder, Smart Gets Paid

Best Move

Write the half-page your contact can forward without editing, then ask whether a short call with her boss would help.

Why It Works

Your contact is presenting your work from memory in a meeting you cannot attend, so what she carries decides the outcome.

Next Step

Ask your contact what question her boss is most likely to raise, then answer it in writing.

What you need to know

Your client has a client.

Leah Neaderthal, Smart Gets Paid

What does my contact actually need from me for that conversation?

Your contact needs a case she can carry from memory, plus one document she can forward without editing it. She is going to describe your work in a few minutes, to somebody with other priorities, without you there to fill gaps.

What to give her:

  • The problem in her words. Use the phrasing she used with you, so her boss hears a live internal issue rather than a vendor's framing.
  • The outcome in one line. What is different afterward, stated plainly.
  • The number and what it covers. An approver should never have to guess at scope.
  • The smallest next step. One concrete, easy-to-approve thing.
  • The answer to the obvious objection. Which means asking her what it will be.

I teach a lightweight version of this handoff as a Proposal in an Email, a named piece of the Academy curriculum. What matters here is the constraint rather than the format: if a document only makes sense with you narrating it, it will be presented by somebody who cannot narrate it.

How do I get in front of the person who has to approve the work?

Get in front of the approver by asking your contact whether a short conversation with her boss would help, and frame it around saving everybody a round trip. The request is smaller than it feels from your side.

Flynn and Lake found that people underestimated by as much as 50% the likelihood that others would agree to a direct request for help, because the person asking focuses on the burden and discounts how uncomfortable it is to refuse. Your contact wants this approved. Fifteen minutes that answers her boss's questions directly is help, not an imposition.

How to ask without going around her

"Would it help if I joined for ten minutes to answer questions, or would you rather I gave you something to bring in?" Two options, both fine, and she stays in control of her own relationship. Going around a contact costs you the only person advocating for you, and asking plainly is less imposing than it feels.

If the answer is no

Ask what her boss will want to know, then answer it in writing. A contact who cannot get you in the room can almost always tell you what the room will ask.

What if my contact keeps saying it's still waiting on approval?

Repeated waiting-on-approval usually means the internal conversation has not happened yet, rather than that it happened and went badly. Meetings get rescheduled, priorities move, and the thing that never gets scheduled is the thing nobody is chasing.

Useful questions, and each is gentler than a status request:

  1. "Has the conversation happened yet?" Separates a delay from a decision.
  2. "What would make it easier to get on the agenda?" Offers help rather than pressure.
  3. "Is there anything you'd want from me before then?" Puts the work back on your plate, where it belongs.

I teach this as it's never about you. A hundred things could be causing this, and at most one of them involves you. Meanwhile, keep the rest of your business moving, because a single opportunity carrying your whole quarter changes how you show up in exactly the wrong way.

Should I offer something smaller to get approved faster?

Offering something smaller works when the obstacle is the size of the commitment rather than the value of the work. A smaller first piece often clears an approval threshold that a full engagement cannot.

Where it helps and where it does not:

SituationSmaller first piece
The number needs sign-off higher than your contactHelps. It may sit under her own authority
The boss is unconvinced the problem is realDoes not help. Solve the belief first
Budget arrives next quarterHelps. It keeps things moving and holds the relationship
Your contact cannot articulate the valueDoes not help. Fix the handoff instead

I teach the offer version of this as an ETSY offer, short for Easy To Say Yes, and there is more to the decision than the size of the number. The test is whether shrinking the ask removes the actual obstacle, or just makes your work cheaper.

Leah's take

Here is what I want you to notice about this moment: your contact has stopped being the person you are selling to and become the person selling for you. That is a promotion for her and a change of job for you.

Most consultants keep selling to the contact who is already sold. They send more detail, more credentials, another case study, and none of it helps, because the person who needed convincing was convinced weeks ago. What she needs is a case she can carry into a room you are not in, in language that will survive being repeated by somebody who does not do your work for a living.

And be kind about her position. She is navigating her own system, with her own boss, her own competing priorities, and her own risk in advocating for an outsider. Clients can use an ally. If you are the person who makes her look prepared in that meeting, you have done something more valuable than any case study.

One more thing, because it costs people real money: do not read a slow approval as a soft no. Approvals are slow because approvals are slow.

More questions about this topic

Should I email the boss directly?

Emailing the boss without your contact's agreement is the one move that reliably costs you the engagement, because it tells your advocate she cannot control her own relationship. Ask her first. If she offers to make the introduction, take it. If she prefers to carry it herself, give her what she needs and let her.

What if the boss says no?

A no from an approver is worth understanding rather than accepting immediately. Ask your contact what the objection was, because it is often about timing, budget cycles or a competing initiative rather than about your work. Those are all things that change. Ask when it would make sense to revisit, and put a real date on it.

How long should I wait between check-ins during approval?

Every two to three weeks, with something useful attached each time, works for most approval cycles. The interval matters less than the content: a note that gives your contact something to use is welcome at almost any frequency, and a note that only asks for status wears out fast. Match the rhythm to their cycle if you know it.

Is it worth sending a video or a deck for the internal meeting?

A short video or deck helps when your contact asks for one, and adds friction when she does not. Anything you send has to be something she is willing to put her name on in front of her boss. Ask what format their organization already uses, then send that rather than the thing you would prefer to make.

Related pages

Leah Neaderthal

Leah Neaderthal

Leah Neaderthal is the founder of Smart Gets Paid, where she has helped hundreds of women consultants attract more of the clients they want and get paid more for their work. For more than a decade, she has taught women consultants how to bring in clients on purpose and get paid more for their value, through her program, The Academy. She's also the host of The Smart Gets Paid podcast. Learn more at smartgetspaid.com.

www.smartgetspaid.com
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