Episode 149 · August 30, 2026
When you left corporate, but it didn't leave you
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In this episode
My client had been in the Academy for months, and she couldn't make herself do the work in it at all. She almost canceled this call because she thought she had nothing to say. What came out instead is the reason she'd stalled: showing up as herself is the exact thing that got her fired, more than once, back when she was in corporate, and some part of her has been protecting against that ever since. We trace it from the fear itself, through the difference between being unemployable and being unhireable as a consultant, to the one small next step she can take. At the end I come back with the two questions I want you asking about your own career, because I have never once met a woman who didn't carry some version of this in.
What you'll take away
- The instinct that got you in trouble in corporate might be the same one your business needs. She came up in rooms where showing up authentically got her hand slapped, more than once, and she's still bracing for the slap even though nobody in her own business can give her one.
- When something's blocking you, ask three questions: whose voice is that, where did it come from, and is it still true? Most of the time the belief didn't start with you. Somebody handed it to you once, and you never put it down.
- Unemployable and unhireable as a consultant are two different fears wearing the same coat. One means the wrong people reject you. The other means the right ones can't find you yet. Separate them and a lot of the fear stops making sense.
- You don't have to start with LinkedIn. Start with getting yourself to a peer level with your own clients first. It's the easier box to check, and it's what makes the harder one possible.
- Not everything you carry from an old job is holding you back. Some of it is the reason you're good at this now. The work is telling the two apart.
In this conversation
The full transcript, in sections. Open any one to read it.
Every bra I own, and the meeting that never quite left her
0:17
This will work because you bring yourself to it, right?
That's the scary part for me. Why? Because when I was inside corporate, that's when I would get fired.
Welcome to Smart Gets Paid with me, Leah Neaderthal. I help women run more profitable consulting businesses, getting more of the clients you want and getting paid way more for your work without sacrificing your time. But I've never been a salesperson. My background is in corporate marketing, and when I started my own consulting business, I learned pretty quickly that it's about 1000 times harder to sell your own stuff than it is to sell someone else's. So I taught myself how to do it. I turned it into a methodology, and now I teach that proven methodology to my clients. So whether your consulting contracts are $10,000, $100,000, or more, if you want more clients you love, more work you love, and they get paid more than you ever thought possible, then you're in the right place. Let's do it together. Thanks for tuning in, and don't forget to rate, review, and share. So every bra I own, I bought because of one meeting. That meeting was 16 years ago. Here's what happened: I was working at a mid-sized tech company in corporate marketing. I was in my late 20s, and my team had been tasked with creating the new way that our salespeople were going to explain what we do and like the value of our software in their sales meetings with potential clients, and it sort of centered around this drawing, this like whiteboard illustration I had created that like you know you drew to sort of walk through the value of the software, and I had come up with it. I had been practicing it, and finally, I was going to be presenting it to the leadership team. So we're all in this conference room, and it's me and my boss, who's a woman, and then it's this leadership team, which was five middle-aged men. And I go up to the whiteboard and I draw the thing out, you know, and I explain it. It's like a live, you know, maybe 92nd explainer video sort of thing. And I just remember that, like, it came out perfectly. Like, it was tight. And when it was done, I turned around from the whiteboard to face the audience. These like five middle-aged men. And in that moment, I become aware that the room is freezing cold, and then I become aware that, like, I can't believe I'm saying this on a business podcast, but I become aware that my nipples are hard, and I was wearing this like thin silk blouse, and I have big boobs, and so you know I was wearing these like thin unpadded bras, just like thin fabric with no padding at all, and so then I become aware that my nipples are hard and they're visible through my shirt. All right, and I'm standing up there in front of these like five middle-aged men, and suddenly, like that's the only thing I can think about. Like I don't even remember what I was trying to say in the rest of that meeting. I just remember standing there in front of these men, a woman in her late 20s, feeling like my nipples were just on display, and I was mortified. Mortified. I don't even remember the rest of that day, but I do know that a few days later I went downtown and I bought all new bras with just a little bit of padding, like just enough to make sure that something like that never happened again. And I still, to this day, buy bras with just a little bit of padding for that reason. And it's been 16 years. Like I left that moment, but that moment never quite left me. I mean, that one, that story, that's harmless, right? It's a bra, but that's not how it always goes. There are other moments from earlier in your career that can show up years later, and maybe yeah, the things you avoid, or also how you feel about yourself, maybe the opportunities you don't take, or the way you might hold yourself back without knowing why, and the way you show up in your business. And I know this because I hear it all the time from the women I work with. And honestly, I know it because I live it too. I mean, yeah, the bra thing I can laugh about, but there are other things I can't, and that's what today's episode is about.
Meet the client who almost canceled this call
4:22
The woman you're going to hear me talk to is a client who's smart and capable and successful, and she has been stuck, not because she doesn't know what to do in her business, but because something from her corporate past keeps her from doing it. And I mean, at this point, she had been in the academy for a few months, but she just couldn't muster the energy to do anything with it. And she told me that she almost canceled this call because she thought she had nothing to say. But what actually happened on the call is the thing I want you to hear. It's when she realized what had been holding her back, and in our conversation, you. Get to hear the exact moment that she figures out what that is. So I want to send a huge thank you to this client for allowing me to share this conversation with you. So take a listen, and at the end, I'm going to come back and share a lesson that you can apply to your business. I think I put in the description "stuck and paralyzed. Stuck and paralyzed. Okay. Well, I'm glad we're having this call. Then I almost canceled. Why? Just and it's not bad. That's the funny thing. It's like none of this is bad. It's just that I don't know. I for months I've been in a weird mental spot for anything work related. Yeah, and there's not much depth to it, other than because I have other things to work and do, and I do those, and I get things done, and I'm very productive, but I'm not where it matters. And yeah, so I'm like, you know what? Fuck it, I'm just gonna get on the call because, I mean, I started off strong,
and you know, financially made the commitment and all that, and then like suddenly I'm like five months later, and I'm like, the hell, you're not doing the work that you need to be doing, and I don't have any other answers.
Something's in the way
6:14
It's okay. So, so something's in the way.
Yes,
something's in the way. Something is making this particular work feel I don't know hard or just distasteful or whatever, and you'll naturally gravitate towards like what was more fun and easy and light.
Well, it's not the other stuff isn't fun, easy or light because it's just me and my work, so I don't answer to anybody else. Whereas the other stuff that I'm involved with, with is not paying. It's mostly the volunteer stuff, but there's other people that it affects, and it's you know tick off a box, do a thing, it's done. It's not requiring the mental side of things, which is interesting because I do spend a lot of time thinking about the work. It almost feels like I'm very much like in the future rather than like the now of what needs to happen to get me to where I would be from there. But the other stuff isn't fun necessarily or light. It's just more doable.
Yeah, yeah. Well, especially if it is something that's like you can check a box. You've done it. Now it's done. Whereas you know, running a business, I mean, there's always nothing to do. Sometimes you don't see the end of the thing very quickly. Have you ever done like a strength finder or anything like that?
It's been a long time. Yeah, I I have done that. Being in the HR world, I feel like I've been, I've done all the things,
all the assessments. Well, when I did it a few years ago, my execution strength was achiever, right, or like achievement or whatever. Which means, and I knew this about myself, but I never had the language to describe it. I've got to check a box, like sometime in a day, I have to check a box, like I've finished a thing, and so I can appreciate that this stuff is longer and bigger and can be more conceptual, and you don't get to the end of it very quickly. Like it can feel however it feels to you right now.
Testing whether corporate is still an option
8:16
Yeah, and also the like I was like, well, maybe maybe I do want to be in corporate. I mean, the answer to that is I don't. But you know, I did the whole like I'll apply to some stuff. I had some interviews and all of that, and that that reinforced the knowledge that no, that is not where I fit now. It's not, and it's not like concentrated time. It's just little pieces of time over the last few months, you know, trying that out, and so I have gotten an answer that way, of is that where I'm supposed to be right now? And I I don't think the answer is yet, so it's it's like fluid.
Yeah, every now and then I talk to people who are like, well, no, I'm deciding between like working with you or going back and getting a job, and I'm like, oh, well, like, do you want to get a job? And they're like, no, I hate jobs. You know, like, and these are people who are not afraid of work, right? They just don't. Nobody wants to go back into that corporate environment, and so it's good to have that reminder. You know, yep.
And there's that reinforcement of like I'm really great at this, and I can get paid for it. It's the like making myself only do it to be paid that is the work that. So I still feel good about where I'm trying to be for the niche, but I don't know why I'm just not doing the work other than I'm just not doing it and following through with like the new system. Like I've got my login and I got to the introduction and I went in there and then I just didn't do it because I was doing all this other stuff. Which I will give myself credit for the fact that there's a lot of child focused stuff that has had to take priority over that. But I still have time to be working. So, and I don't know if that makes a whole lot of sense. It does.
It does because also, I mean, what I learned from you and about you, even in those first conversations, is the way that you think about things is a little different. And I think for a long time you've been told you have to think about things in a certain way, and that's really unmotivating and soul crushing. And I think I said something like, "I don't know what we were talking about, and I was like, "Yeah, you don't have to do that. And you were like, "What? And so I can imagine. I mean, I don't want to put words in your mouth, but I imagine there's something around here that's like, "Don't tell me there's only one way to do it, or "Don't tell me that there's a way to do it. And so going in and like learning the way to do it can feel like, "Why would I want to do that? I'm not that person. You know, if you tell me there's only one way to do it. Then I'm going to tell you there's not, and I'm going to find a different way because I need to find the way that's right for me. I don't know if any of that resonates. I mean, you're laughing, so
that was good. So it's like I'm not completely 100 checked out mentally by any means. I'm just not doing the work.
What "bring yourself to it" means
10:57
Yeah, just so that you know what's on the other side, right? When you sort of walk through that door, is this is a methodology? It's not a you have to do it this way every single time, right? I think why people like it is there's a lot of room for you in this. Of course, there are things that you probably shouldn't be doing, and there are things that we're going to tell you to make it better and more effective, right? But there's like this will work because you bring yourself to it, right?
When showing up authentically got her fired
11:27
That's the scary part for me. Why? Because that is the part that I haven't fully processed and worked through. Of like you said before, when I do that in prior environments, because when I was inside corporate, that's when I would get fired. That's when I would be let go. That's when I would be eliminated. That's whatever fill in the blank, however you want to say that, separated from the company because of me showing up authentically of who I am as a professional and not fitting at all. Now I understand that that's not fitting with the leadership of the organizations of where I was, and that there were fundamental differences. And I think that's why it goes back to the whole what I was saying about like I can still support people even if I don't believe in what they're saying. That's valuable to me to be able to come to that realization. That's probably why I try sometimes to look see if there's some place I might fit to go into,
and I could certainly appreciate that. You know, if you've had your hand slapped, it doesn't take more than a couple times to have that happen and be like, whatever I do, I'm going to have my hand slapped. Yeah, right. And so if you have the, I'm not a therapist, right, but I have done a lot of therapy. So if you have the emotional memory of that, and that lives over here where all the business building stuff is, because you know on some level, some like cellular level, you are afraid of that, then no wonder humans will not run towards something that you know either disgusts them or they are afraid of.
Yeah, and with what we're saying about showing up, like even putting stuff, okay, maybe it's not as hard as I think it is. The reason that I'm holding myself back is because the step I need to take is actually showing up authentically, like on my website, and then also writing and posting things like LinkedIn. And it's not just opinion; it's you know my informed professional thoughts on things in the HR world. I have a fear that having that there documented then makes me unemployable in the future. It's just something I come back to every so often that I'm afraid to actually share my thoughts.
Unemployable versus unhireable
13:36
What are you saying makes me unemployable or makes me Unhireable as the consultant,
I'm conflating the two,
but they are very different. I think sort of separating those might dislodge something, if not dislodge, you know, just shake up something, because unemployable means that the people who I need won't like me, or if I get in there, I'm going to get hit my hand slapped again for having the beliefs that are true to me and how I think that HR should work, and I'll never like be able to make money again, right? Like from a salary job, but hireable as a consultant, there's a lot more leeway because you are the boss, right? You're the boss of your business. In the other option, like somebody else's boss, probably have a bunch of bosses, you know, going up the chain and all that. In your world, you're the boss, and there's every single type of company. There are companies probably if you say performance reviews are bullshit, and there are probably people who will be scrolling, right? People who would be your main client, who are like, no, we really believe in performance reviews, right? But those aren't the people who you ever want to work with.
Rationally, I understand that,
right? But there are people who are like, oh my god, thank God, somebody's saying performance reviews are both. We want to bring you into our, you know, mid market company, or what have you, and the universe of those people is vast, but they can't find you unless you let them find you.
And that sounds so simple, and like makes so much sense when I hear you say that.
But it's not simple. It's not simple because you have to unravel a bunch of things. You have to unravel like, am I okay to believe what I believe? Am I okay to put it down on paper? Where do I even post it? How do I post it? Who do I want to see it? Right? What beliefs do I have to unravel about showing up, taking up space? What beliefs do I have to unravel about being a woman in this arena? Or blah blah? You know, there's so much. I'm not saying it's simple at all. I'm just saying that there is promise if we can keep coming towards it.
Yes, I agree with you.
The first move: peer yourself
15:51
It sounds like when you say like I need to, you know, start sharing my opinions on LinkedIn and all of that stuff, and you know, having this educational content that teaches people how to think about the problem. That seems like where your head's at, right? So I create these little quick start things. So if you need to leverage LinkedIn, I actually would not go straight to LinkedIn.
Okay,
I would start with peer yourself, which is a set of modules all about your mindset and really getting yourself at a peer level with your clients.
Okay,
it's an easy one to check off. Then I would actually start working up the chain.
That makes sense, and the I like the way you put that peer yourself.
Good, good, good. I'm so glad, you know. And so something like peer yourself, and this next one, it's more checking a box. The painkiller is something that can take a little bit more time. And when you get to that one, my request to you is let us help you, because that one's probably the easiest of all of the strategies that you could learn in this program. That's the one that's easiest to recede into the background and run away and try to work on it and sort of suffer in silence. So when you get to that one, run to us, not from us, so that we can help you get it over the finish line. Okay,
yeah, that's more than okay. I need actually, I needed to hear that because my tendency would be to take it like a bone, go away and non it by myself, and you'd be like, "Oh no, she's gone, right? And then you would
Run to us, not from us
17:26
get a little video from me that's like, "Hey, what you doing? And I know that also because you know everything here I've I've done for myself, and I know my own tendency to be like, "Why haven't I figured this out? I need to just beat my head against the wall a little harder and muscle this, and it'll work. When really, sometimes all it takes is like one little soundbite from somebody else who's an idea that unlocks something. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Okay. So does that sound like a good yes?
Yes. Okay. And I'm so glad I didn't
cancel.
I'm so glad too. I'm so glad. I don't want you paralyzed.
I mean, that's what makes it worth it to be in the program is to not suffer in silence, as you just said, but to also be like, you know what, [name removed for anonymity], just go to your people. I'm here for a reason, and this is it to help for you all to help. So it makes a lot of sense. It's clear. It's like this is where I can start, and I I needed that. I needed to be you know guided like that for whatever reason. I'm typically not a needy, super needy like that, but yeah, I needed. No one just gave it to me.
I'm not here to judge, and we all have periods, you know, in our lives, we're sometimes we're super motivated, and you know, going forward, full steam ahead. And sometimes we're like, "I'm stuck, and I don't know why, and just takes one thing.
Thank you. All
Whose voice is that, and is it still true?
18:53
right, what a great conversation. Okay, so my client went into that call not knowing why she'd stalled, and she came out of it knowing, or I guess realizing, and that's not a small moment, you know, to happen out loud with somebody listening. And so, like always, I want to leave you with something that you can take from that and apply in your own business. And here's what I've been thinking about. So, what you just heard is one woman's experience from corporate, you know, from earlier in her career, that still holds her back today. But this really isn't just about her story, because in all the years I've been doing this, working with hundreds of women, I've never once met a woman who didn't have some version of this, some experience, usually from a job, sometimes from a specific boss or colleague, that is still showing up to some degree in how she runs her business today, good or bad, and I know this because we talk about it. Like even before I start working with somebody, this comes up, and we have to sort of shine the light on it because in order to help someone move forward and learn how to do business development in her consulting business, we have to. Understand what might be playing out right now. I mean, this is just one example, but in business development, I could tell you 50 ways to make more money from your next consulting engagement. But if, say, you ask for a raise earlier in your career and you got your hand slapped, and so now the idea of asking for lots of money makes you sort of shrink back, then I know that none of those 50 ways is going to work, right? And so we have to know what's playing out before we get started. And so often, what's playing out right now started a long time ago, earlier in our careers. I'm thinking of a woman I talked to recently who spent more than a decade in a job with a boss who was a total micromanager, and now all these years later in her business, she doesn't have that boss anymore. But she always has this feeling of like somebody's going to need something urgent, and you're about to be in trouble. Like she's her own boss, but that feeling is still in there. And when you've spent the early part of your career feeling like you're always about to be in trouble, that doesn't just evaporate when you start your business. It really does follow you, and that's the kind of experience that isn't harmless. It really does affect you in your business. But of course, you know, not all of our corporate experiences are bad, and not all of them impact us in negative ways. Sometimes, what stays with you can actually be a gift. You know, in my case, I was really lucky when I was in corporate. Every single one of my direct bosses was a woman, and one of them worked part time as like a part time CMO for a couple years. And so, on the days that she was home with her kids, like she was off, she was way off. You know, she wasn't answering emails. She was not available, and I saw that, and that experience showed me that it's possible to lead a team and hold a boundary and be a working parent long before I ever needed it, and so that stuck with me too. You know, and that's part of how I run my business today. And so it does go both ways. You know, some of what we carry holds us back, and some of it is the reason we're as good as we are. So here's what I want you to take from this, and there are two things. The first one I actually learned in therapy, and of course I'm not a therapist, but you know I have done quite a bit of therapy. So when you notice something popping up about yourself that feels like it's holding you back, like a thought or a feeling, maybe it's a belief that's coming up or some rule you follow without thinking. Ask yourself three questions. Number one, whose voice is that? Number two, where did it come from? And number three, is it still true?
My take: find the fuel
22:30
Because a lot of the time, when you look at it and you ask those questions, you realize that the thing that you've been believing about yourself or you know operating under, it didn't even come from you. Somebody gave it to you. Somebody handed it to you. Maybe it was in a performance review, or maybe it was in an offhand comment from a boss you probably haven't thought about in a decade. And it might actually have even been true then, although I'm guessing it probably wasn't then either. But you know that's a separate point. But it's worth asking: Is that thing still true now? Is that belief or that rule or that way I feel is that still true now? Because if it isn't, you're allowed to put it down and rewrite that experience, rewrite that feeling or that rule with something new. And the second thing is that for the experiences that shaped you in a harder way, see if you can find some fuel in it. In the episode just before this, number 148, Shawna Hocking said something that I keep coming back to. So, in her case, 25 years in fundraising taught her that she had to be perfect for people to trust her. Perfect. Now, as a business owner, she runs her own firm. She says that people trust her now not because she's perfect, but because she'll tell them what she got wrong. She sort of took perfect and turned it around. So you can also take the thing that you were handed, ask if it's still true, and ask whether the opposite or something else entirely might actually be truer for you now and serve you better. So I want you to think about your own experience. You know, think about something that stuck with you from your earlier career. You know, what comes up for you when you think about a corporate experience that you know you left, but it never quite left you. Get curious about whose voice that is and whether it's still true, and if it shaped you. Ask whether it actually might be a part of what makes you great at what you do now, or if there's a different way you get to be now, because you get to decide what you carry forward. You get to decide what's still true, and you get to build your business and honestly build yourself from this point forward. All right, that's it for today. If this episode brought up something for you? I would love to hear it. Send me a message. Find me on LinkedIn. You know where I am. And if there's a woman consultant in your life who needs to hear this one, I hope you'll share it with her. All right. Thanks for listening, and I'll see you next time.
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